I've been reading a lot recently about gay men and racial stereotypes (you've heard them before so I won't repeat them). But what I'm intrigued about is who keeps them going? Other races? The rich, white, West?

Well, here is a (completely non-scientific) set of results that I got when I typed the following combinations into a gay personals site:

Preferred sexual role

----------Top-------Bottom

White-----316----------285
Black-----244------------55
Asian------32-----------123

(No preference/versatile not counted)

I don't think the 'white' results shows up much, but I was amazed at the Black and Asian results. Are the stereotypes of the dominant black man and submissive Asian man reinforced by the fact that this is what they say they prefer anyway?

 

Take the test: http://www.geocities.com/javafinn/comparator.html

My result:

 

Yesterday was my boyfriend's birthday, and he had to work (aww). So I decided to invite him over straight from his work. Instead of going out, I decided to be cook.

I made:

Starter : Salad (Romaine lettuce with small veggies, i.e. grape tomato, cucumber, baby carrots)
Main: Marinate Boneless Chicken Breast in sherry, pineapple juice and brown sugar, Rice with veggies
Dessert : Cheesecake or Chocolate Dipped Strawberries
Not forgetting the candlelit table, wine, and rose petals!
And some finger foods for later...

I decided to wear just my kitchen apron (LOL) which was probably the wrong move as the first thing he saw when he got into the kitchen was my butt, and that didn't put him in the mood for civilized eating!

But after the meal I gave him his present (an iPOD he had been hankering after for ages) and he helped me out of that heavy apron (LOL)

We had a great night and never left the house to do it. No booking restaurants, no parking worries, etc etc. Nice n'cosy!

I know, i know- I'm just a homeboy! LOL

Hum, havent updated THIS in a while.

Well since its workout change time I thought I'd share it. I'm not recommending it to anyone, you understand. But it does the biz for me. Its my alternate set (change every eight weeks). I got it from a guy who basicly tutored me years ago. Rest days are Wednesday and Sunday.


MONDAY, THURSDAY - UPPER BODY (1)

The numbers relate to the seconds, so 3-0-2 is three seconds lift, 2 seconds lower.

DA CHEST!

Inclined bench (30°) 1 set 12 – 15 reps with lightweight followed by 3 sets x 10 -12 reps dumbbell presses. 3-0-2

Flat bench press, either machine or free weights. 6 sets in a pyramid set.
2-0-2

Pec Deck on either machine or dumbbells, 3 sets of 15 reps, 2-0-2 rate with minimal rest

Bench Flys (inclined or flat bench) w/dumbbells. 3-0-2 rate 3 sets of 15 reps

Cable Cross Overs, 2-1-2 rate 3 sets of 12 reps

DA BICEPZ!

Standing Biceps using free weights, rapid drop set, working with 6 different weights, start heavy then work down - minimum rest.

Incline Bench Dumbbell curls, 2-0-2. 2-3 sets

Two arm curl on a Scott bench. 4-0-3 rate doing 12 reps for 3 sets.

Reverse Curl, free weights 3-0-2 rate doing 12 reps 3 sets.

DA TRICEPZ!

Tricep Dips, 3 sets

Tricep Press 4 12 reps fast

Cable Pull Down, 3 sets 4-1-2 rate.

Single Arm Tricep Pullover, 3 sets of 15 reps lightweight, 2-0-2 rate.



SATURDAY - UPPER BODY (2)

DA BACK!

Pull-ups, 3 sets

Seated Trapz machine, 3 sets for 15 reps 3-0-2 rate

Reverse Flys, 3 sets with a lightweight for 25 reps, 2-0-2 rate.

Cable Seated Row; pyramid set to failure, Rate 3-0-2.

Single Arm Dorsal Raises; 3 sets of 12 reps 4-0-4 (slow.... aaargh).

Lateral Pull Downs; 4 sets, 15 reps. 3-0-3.

Single Arm Row; 2 sets of 10 reps - heavy weight. Rate 3-0-2.

DA SHOULDERZ!

Seated Shoulder Press; 5 sets 12 reps. 3-0-2 rate

Rear Deltoid Pull; 3 sets 15 reps 3-0-2 rate.

Lying Lateral Raise; 12-15 reps 4-0-4 motion repeated twice.

Upright Row; 3 sets 12 reps, 3-0-3 rate.

end up with 100 lengths alternate breaststroke/frontcrawl


TUESDAY, FRIDAY - LOWER BODY CIRCUITS

20min warmup run

Ski Jumps

Machine Squat (Quads)

Rear Leg Raised Lunge (Quads)

Side Box Bound Circuit

Seated Leg Extension (Quads)

Pulsing Squat Circuit LB

Hamstring Curl Machine.

1 Leg Squat Circuit

Standing Squat (Quads)

Raised Squat Circuit


EVERYDAY- ABZ!

ASSISTED WEIGHT
LEG WEIGHT
LEG V-SITS
LEG CYCLES

Apart from whey protein drink I don't do supps, instead I just eat good food regularly, watch my fat intake, no sweets etc. No coffee etc just water.

LOL, you're all snoring now with boredom!

I recently watched all the Bruce Lee films at one sitting, well I didn't sit all the time...

Man, he was truly the greatest martial artist of all time. A totally hammy actor tho, but it's not really about the acting.

I remember as a kid having my walls plastered with Bruce Lee photos and trying to mimic his movements in front of a mirror. I couldn't quite get the bowl haircut right though!

Maybe it was because he was such a ham actor that he was mimicked so much after his death. It's actually quite easy to form those expressions- you know the ones I mean, just after he has finished off some hopeless opponent, that 'oh, violence is so terrible but I had to do it' expression!

But I'm being unfair. His real skills lay elsewhere. I can't imagine what he would have gone on to had he lived. I get a horrible image of him in the 80s doing some shitty roller-disco kung fu crossover.

I read not that long ago that Bruce was circumcised as an adult *without* anaesthetic... What must have that felt like??? I can't make my mind up whether he was the Alpha Male of all time or totally up himself. Still, I suppose the fact he didn't faint was something. Who knows? Maybe he did...

What is it with people who can't (or won't) read signs?

Doing my 100 laps at the pool in the 'lane swimming only' lane, and this kid is bouncing up and down on the ropes. He kicks my face as I'm going past, so (natch) I stop and basically tell him to get off the rope.

Fine. I finish my laps, and get out the pool. Up comes his mother, and starts yelling off about "Nobody talks to my son like that", "Who do you think you are" bla bla. Of course I'm out of breath, so not exactly ready for an argument. I'm trying to point at the sign saying "Lane Swimming Only" but by now she's off on one, as if I'm Public Enemy No 1, or the f******g Child Catcher out of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

This of course attracts the attention of a lifeguard who comes over. I'm still trying to get my breath, and she starts on him. He's then "Look, you must report these things to the staff, don't take this on yourself" TO ME!! Oh yes, and who would be the guilty party? Would that be me? No, I don't think so!

I'm so crap at defending myself in arguments. All this is coming out now because I couldn't (or wouldn't) speak up at the time. OK, so I was out of breath. But I could have said more, I could have explained myself. And I DIDN'T shout at the kid, I told him to get off the rope- he kicked my face for god sake!!

I need to take assertiveness lessons.

I got posted this from a fellow live-journalist, so here goes (gulp):

1. Had sex in three or more positions in one session?

Yes

2. Had sex continuously for 1 hour or more?

Hmm, i think so

3. Devoted an entire day to sex and sexual activity (with breaks for eating,etc)?

No, lol there's too much else to do

4. Been so loud having sex that people complained?

No, I'm usually careful about not being within earshot

5. Had your sexual technique/style/skill openly praised by someone?

Does 'that feels good' count?

6. Brought your partner to orgasm using only your hands?

I'm not sure! Probably

7. Had sex while both fully dressed (unzip fly, hike up skirt...)?

No, the nearest is my partner dressed

8. Had sex while both standing up?

Yes

9. Performed oral sex on a man (fellatio)?

Err, that would be a yes!

10. Performed oral sex on a woman (cunnilingus)?

Er, that would be a no!

11. Received oral sex from a man?

Yes

12. Received oral sex from a woman?

No

13. Used position number 69?

Yes

14. Intentionally swallowed semen (your own counts)?

Hmm, I don't think it ever got swallowed, no

15. Had heterosexual intercourse using no birth control?

Haven't had het sex PERIOD

16. Had sex during menstruation?

I'm sure I must have had sex while one of my female flatmates was menstruating, but she wasn't in on the sex. Does that count?

17. Used whipped cream, chocolate syrup, etc... for sexual purposes?

No- I HATE that. That's food, for eating. Sorry, just not my thing.

18. Used ice for sexual purposes?

No.

19. Completely shaved off your pubic hair?

LOL, yes. A looong time ago. Causes a lot of sweat I found!

20. Purchased a sex toy?

Yes. Well- I was away from home and lonely!

21. Inserted your finger into someone's anus, or had this done to you?

Yes

22. Licked someone's anus?

Yes.

23. Performed anal intercourse on someone (on the giving end, toys count)?

No

24. Received anal intercourse (receiving end, toys count)?

Yes

25. Used a vibrator or dildo on your partner, or had your partner use one on you?

Yes

26. Been involved in use of a cock-ring?

I've worn one as a jewellery item. Does that count?

27. Been involved in use of a strap-on?

No. Why would I?

28. Participated in fist-fucking?

Noooo

29. Contracted a venereal disease or STD?

Double noooo

30. Given a sympathy fuck?

No. I've probably received a few though! LOL

31. Forced or coerced someone having sex with you?

Never

32. Had sex with a virgin?

Well yes but I only had their word for it!

33. Paid for sex with a prostitute?

No.

34. Been involved in adultery?

No. Whaaaat?

35. Had sex with your boss or teacher?

Do fantasies count? I thought not.

36. Had sex with someone the same day you met them?

(Blush) yes. Only once tho.

37. Had sex with someone whose name you did not know?

No.

38. Been openly homosexual or bisexual?

I am. Semi. LOL

39. Had more than 10 sex partners?

Yes, though not full sex.

40. Been in a threesome?

No. I've been offered it though.

41. Engaged in group sex (more than three people)?

No.

42. Had sex in a public place?

Yes.

43. Had sex in a car (moving or stationary)?

Yes.

44. Become a member of the mile high club?

LOL. What the hell is this a porn movie?

45. Had sex in the water (hot tub, shower, pool, etc)?

Yes, but cum is ICKY mixed with water

46. Been walked in on while having sex?

Yyyyyyes. LOL

47. Had sex while you knew someone else was watching?

Not as far as I know.

48. Engaged in bondage?

Very mild, yes.

49. Engaged in "golden showers" (urinating)?

I've been peed up against in the shower, but piss doesn't turn me on.

50. Have body piercing to enhance sexual pleasure?

No, I'll go out of this world (I hope) with my body exactly as it came in to it (well, abit bigger and probably more wrinkly!)

 

That wasn't too bad!

Hmm, I've noticed recently that my workouts seem less effective. Othertimes I think I really can see benefits, that I'm on a 'high'.

But it's weird- you don't have good days and bad days. What happens is that you go into a lull, maybe for a week or ten days, then things pick up. I'm not an expert, so I don't know why this is.

I asked my friend at the gym (middle aged, ex-Army, old school) if he could shed any light, but he told me I must just be a f******g lazy c**t who didn't do enough reps. (LOL, you should hear him when he's spotting me, how can anyone swear so much in such a short time?)

So no help there. I'm guessing it's like a kind of meta-recovery period. You need to give yourself a day to recover from working a bodypart, so perhaps the overall workout process needs a recovery period too.

The danger has to be deciding not to work out at all during this time. The occasional 'holiday' is OK, especially if you have really been going for it. But I think I need to resist the temptation not to go when I think it will not really benefit me any.

Hmm, I need to seek more advice. Wow, I never realised I wrote so much!

There's been a thing going round my workplace that since it's the summer men should be allowed to wear polo shirts if they want to.

The thing is the 'standard' is that men wear a shirt and tie but some people are saying women have no compulsory outfit. They can wear anything that's 'smart'. There was a news item about this in the British Civil Service last year.

Well, I think I'm old-fashioned. (Or just old). I think men should wear a shirt and tie because it looks right for business. And I think everybody should be smart. You can be untidy in a shirt and tie just as you can not wearing one.

In fact the whole thing has opened my eyes to a taste I never had- how sexy a well-groomed young guy in a shirt and tie, maybe with light cologne, can be. I don't think I'm getting all fetishist about it, but I'm looking at men in ties a whole lot differently now!

And it's not just me. A lot of my female colleagues prefer to see a smartly turned-out guy working alongside them. Not to mention their butt-watching habits! I thought it was just me!

So for work, ties are IN!

At the club this weekend I was twice called a Muscle Mary. Once to my face, once just within earshot.

This got me thinking about slang terms, and gay slang in particular. It gets some people very angry. It's derogatory, it pigeonholes people, blah blah.

I think it does and it doesn't. Firstly, we all pigeonhole people anyway; especially those we don't know and only have appearances to go on. So that doesn't say much. And derogatory?

Well I think a lot of slang is derogatory, but I think gay slang is slightly different. If it is derogatory, it is in a fairly camp way anyway- and camp might be a lot of things, but hurtful? Plus I think gay slang is often intended to say more about the speaker than the spoken about. As in, look how much gay slang I know. Remember (in England especially) it started out as a code language for gay men to communicate before it was legal.

So I decided to look up 'Muscle Mary' in the dictionary. OK, I looked it up in Google. And I found the definition:

 

MUSCLE MARY
(1980s - n.)

A homosexual male who obviously works out in a gym. Found in clubs lining the walls with their shirts off and their muscles pumped.

 

OK, so I'm a homosexual male. Check. I obviously work out. Check. Club. Check. Shirt off. Check. (Well it was hot )

And if the obviously working out sounds arrogant, well fine. I think it is kinda obvious, but... well anyway, the bottom line is I hit all the points. So, yes I'm a Muscle Mary. I'm also a Scorpio, right-handed fruit-eater. But if you think any of that alone describes me, then you're a greenhorn.

Look it up!

This is the first of what might be many wafflings. Well, who knows...